The year of the Dragon. The Chinese zodiac is a traditional classification scheme based on the Chinese calendar that assigns an animal and its reputed attributes to each year in a repeating twelve-year cycle. Each is widely associated with a culture of ascribing a person's personality or events in their life to the supposed influence of the person's particular relationship to the cycle. The 12 Chinese zodiac animals in a cycle are not only used to represent years in China, but also believed to influence people's personalities, career, compatibility, marriage, and fortune.
In my culture, it is believed that when it is your zodiac year, you will experience misfortune and/or hardship that year. I’m not usually superstitious, but this I’ve always believed my whole life. It’s a reminder or rather a warning that my family and even friends would repeat every year to one another. I was born in 1988, therefore this year is my year. Now today, I can’t tell you what bad luck or terrible things that happened to me twelve years ago, but I believe something negative probably happened to me in 2012. This year is different. It feels like 2024 has been non-stop kicking me down and even though it’s nearing the end of the year, it’s not done with me yet. I survived two lay-offs, health scare, and injuries. But the hardest thing that I had gone through this year was losing our beloved cat, Thor back in July.
I want to think he lived a wonderful and happy life. He wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. He had such an affectionate, bright, and silly personality. He never liked being picked up and so he would always climb up your shoulders to be as tall as possible. He hated being left out of a room and he’d howl until you let him in. Which means you’ll always have company when you’re on the toilet. He loved to sing us the song of his people. He would always jump on the bed and snuggle on top of you as you lie on your back on one condition that you’re waring a shirt or covered in a blanket. I think he disliked the feeling of bare skin on his fur. Never really quite figured out what that’s all about. He wasn’t afraid of dogs, big or small. He’d let them know this house is his kingdom. When they’d get anywhere near him, he’d rise to his hind legs and would prepare a smacking to the face if they get too close. Dogs loved him too. He would always protect his brother, Loki by lying next to him whenever there’s rain or storm. He really lived up to his name.
In early 2021 we noticed that Thor started to lose weight. Our regular vet couldn’t figure out why because his appetite was normal. After several months his weight continues to drop and at one point he reached a low 6 pounds body weight and we could feel his spine when we pet him. He wouldn’t have the energy to be playful so he’d spend most of his day sleeping. Our vet finally recommended us to an internist where he was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma. We were given a two year prognosis and Thor was put on chemotherapy. In comparison to human chemotherapy, cats handle chemo much better so we were thankful for that. For the last three years of his life, we barely had to be in and out of the vet besides the routine check up every few months and giving him medicine every day. After his diagnosis he gained back majority of the weight he lost. His energy too returned and for a while it felt like he was a kitten again.
In July, we came home from work one night and noticed that Loki wasn’t his usual self. He had lied down and wouldn’t get back up. We rushed to the emergency vet that night and he had to be hospitalized. He was diagnosed with HHS (Hyperosmolar hyperglycemic syndrome) and diabetes. They weren’t sure he was going to make it through the night. That was the worst thing for any pet owner to hear. We could barely sleep that night and Thor was there to comfort us. The next day, Loki showed some positive sign and he was eating and reacting to the insulin well, however they’re still not confident and needed to keep him at the hospital one more night. The next day we got a call that we can take him home that afternoon. It was the best news even though we were given three month prognosis for Loki, but we didn’t care because it meant we got a little bit more time with him. That’s when we noticed Thor had developed a skin irritation and his appetite was poor. After a couple of vet visits trying to diagnose his skin irritation we had to rush him to the emergency vet on Friday, July 26h just a week after we took Loki back home. By the time we arrived at the vet, Thor’s blood pressure had dropped significantly from the lack of appetite on top of his skin irritation. The vet told us he probably developed the skin irritation from being exposed to a virus or bacteria because he was immunocompromised from his small cell lymphoma. I remember his voice had sounded different, more coarse than his usual meows. He had lost weight and his fur was falling out from the irritation. He was a shadow of the cat he once was. The hardest part of losing Thor was how quickly his condition had deteriorate in just a week. I believe the stress we were expressing about Loki’s condition played a part in Thor’s rapid decline.
The grieving process has been a slow and steady progress. Having people to talk to has helped and now I can look at his pictures and it puts a smile on face because I get to remember all the good times we had together. It’s still very challenging to write or even talk about him without feeling sorrow and a deep sadness.
